An Open Letter to My Husband on Valentine’s Day, 

I hope I’ve freed you from any expectation to buy flowers and chocolate. While the glamour of gifts is fun, your less glamorous daily acts of sacrifice deserve far more praise. 

After all, I’ve seen you love me for years. Not just with cards or flowers, but with a series of decisions that mean loving me more than you love yourself—

When you pursued me in an honorable way while dating. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you promised me your forever “yes.”

I knew you loved me then. 

When you gave me time to messily grow into a wife.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you gave up your dream job to move states for mine.

I knew you loved me then. 

When motherhood transformed me into a different wife than you married.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you left room for me to step away from my career to stay home. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you were justified to supply a harsh reply, but chose to keep quiet.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you ate my dry chicken time after time with a silent smile.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you held our babies through the night to give me rest. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When your criticism was accurate, but you held your tongue. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you worked late last week, yet spent hours washing dishes as I slept on the couch. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you carried my precious mother to her wheelchair.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you chose to engage me though marriage got boring.

I knew you loved me then. 

When you got the kids ready for church, so I could sleep. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you quietly extended grace as I fell short. 

I knew you loved me then. 

When you wrapped your arms around me as I grieved.

I knew you loved me then.

When you believed in me more than I believed in myself. 

I knew you loved me then. 

Roses are fun. Chocolate is great. But your repeated choice to die to yourself in honor of me says more about love than gifts ever could. 

I still suspect I‘ll receive some special gifts to celebrate this day. 

I also expect to see hundreds of photos floating across our newsfeeds showing the same. 

But if for some reason, your situation differs and you’re wondering where your flowers are—I hope you can step back and see a series of sacrificial choices somebody has made to honor you.

This is the type of love I want to celebrate on Valentine’s Day.