Start with the benefit of the doubt.
Start with believing she’s trying her best.
Start with grace.
The way she hurt you probably says more about what she’s carrying than how she feels about you.
She didn’t see you because she can’t see past her pain.
She rejected you because somebody rejected her.
She didn’t mean to forget you; she‘s overwhelmed and overlooked you.
She said ugly things about you because she feels ugly inside.
She didn’t offer to help because she‘s desperate for help herself.
She didn’t hold you together because she‘s falling apart.
She doesn’t like you because she doesn’t like herself.
She‘s short with you because she’s coming up short in life.
She wasn’t dependable because too many are depending on her.
Isn’t this what we all want? The benefit of the doubt. For somebody to trust that even though we’ve dropped the ball, we genuinely were trying?
And isn’t this what God gave us when He eternally put Jesus in our place?
I think you’ll be surprised how this plays out.
I think you’ll be surprised how grace begets grace—and before you know it, God has gently moved you to feel compassion toward her.
I think you’ll be surprised at who she becomes in the lens of love and grace.
I think you’ll be surprised what God does with your choice to believe the best about her.
I think you’ll be surprised how giving grace benefits you.
Slowly but surely, you’ll look in the mirror and see God has shaped you into a secure woman with eyes that see past your hurt feelings and pride.
Be the benefit of the doubt you want.
For her benefit, yes.
But for your benefit too.
“[B]e kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)